More PSN thoughts and musings...

PSN still down and the Nerd Rage is building to epic proportions and it’s hardly surprising considering that  as far as Sony are concerned apparently “WE CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH” still no timescale available from the fountain of perpetually never ending bullshit that is the Sony PR department and yet another message claiming that no one knows anything, I have a mental image of that office and it looks like this-

I’ll be honest here, If I were a high end corporate shister at Sony and one of my largest global cashcows had not been milked properly for 6 days and the people who I'd employed in good faith to maintain as positive a public face as possible until normal milking could be resumed, had day after day recycled the same nonsensical tripe and impotent babbling's, which had further alienated and angered your market  more than the unavailability of the service you were supposed to be providing in the first place. I would be FURIOUS! Furious to the point where I would seriously consider walking into their office and with my belt and thrashing the incompetent fucknut’s to within an inch of there miserable loathsome lives. TURDS!

Something that did make me smirk was the speed and blood thirsty ruthlessness displayed by Microsoft and Xbox On Friday 22^nd, when quite unexpectedly they turned their online service on for FREE for the long weekend, I’ll bet they stood and pissed themselves silly at your seemingly limitless ineptitude. I'll bet they have marketing meetings scheduled for this week with regards to bringing Portal 3 and the next Mortal Kombat titles to Xbox in future.

Do you know how many people are registered with PSN globally? I actually only found this out recently and I have to admit that I was shocked at this number, if I’d have been asked this in the street, despite being an avid gamer my guess would have been nowhere even close.

70,000,000

Yes that’s correct Sony are currently ignoring 70 million people! The first “Statement” from the fetid pit of hopeless incompetence (Sony PR) in regards to the PSN outage I believe came a timely 18 hours after they had turned it off.  I think the word I'd use for this kind of treatment is DISRESPECTFUL!

STOP! METAPHOR TIME!

Now to put this in another context, say you and a whole bunch of friends had organized to go out for a night and have a meal at a restaurant. You are all seated and drinks are served. The Waiter then takes everyone’s order, expectations are high as everyone comes to this restaurant and nobody has anything but good things to say about it.

The Restaurant is very famous and also very vocal about its high class cuisine and its reputation throughout the world, so much so that you are required to pay up front before you are even allowed through its hallowed sacred doorway. Everyone orders Steaks and off scoots the waiter into the back while you and your friends sit waiting expectantly and have a drink.

18 Hours pass, the waiter returns to you empty handed “When the hell is my damn steak going to arrive man?” to which the arrogant waiter condescendingly replies “No Idea, soon. But when it arrives this Steak will be the best you have ever tasted” there would be cutlery, fine china and itty bitty pieces of snotty Frenchman everywhere! You would not accept this from any other service you’ve paid for and why the FUCK should you be expected to?

(I was searching for a picture of a snooty waiter and this came up, actually this could well be a very accurate depiction of the PSN customer service hotline)

Now I know you are all thinking “But PSN is free” No it fucking isn’t, somewhere down the retail paper trail money goes into PSN that started its life in your pocket, it’s just that they don’t ask YOU to pay an additional stand alone subscription fee. Yet! Do you think that Sony lets numerous third party multiplayer games producers get use their portal for free?! While writing this a friend infact dug up some "Facts" regarding my wild speculation and lo and behold I was right, there is indeed a Playstation Network Bandwidth Fee so for the time being you can breath a sigh of relief knowing that Sonys dick is in somebody else's ass and not yours!

Tomorrow by the way Sony are reimbursing all customers of PSN for the downtime with multi coloured magic ponies that shit new PS3 releases and have the innate ability to expand the screen you play on by 10 inches.

WAKE THE FUCK UP MORON!    

I would like to thank the manufacturers of Red Wine for making this rant possible!